To my Seattle trip friends,
I have put extensive thought into what I want to write this evening. Despite extensive thought, I still must admit that I am unsure of what words may spill upon this page. I never became exactly sure of what I wanted to write. I have ideas that I want to project, but I lack conclusions in regards to which ideas will be projected. Nevertheless, this will be an open and honest moment of writing for me.
I would like to begin by saying that even a year later I still think about all of you, and miss everyone that was a part of the trip. I miss those spirits that I was once in the midst of. Truthfully, I took it for granted, and failed to accurately see the present opportunity. For that I am sorry. I guess there really is something spiritual about community after all, and about working together? I must apologize for my sulky attitude on the trip. I still have regrets about my attitude throughout the year at Bible school and on the Seattle trip. Personally, I did not do the best of jobs in regards to my attitude. And that's something I still struggle with: not complaining. In spite of my shortcomings though, you were all very gracious to me, and I do sincerely thank you for that. In fact, I should thank God for that: all good things come from God.
Remember the diary we all had to contribute to? I still look at mine, as nostalgia rushes through each sentence that's printed on the pages. Ha, remember when Ben pretended to be Rocky Balboa? I have fond memories of the parks in Seattle, and want to see Hope Place again someday. Oh, the memories of sleeping in a closet with a statue of the Virgin Mary sitting outside (solace, really liked it actually). I have fond memories of the conversations that took place. I have many fond memories, and not enough vigor to write them all down at this time. Do you feel the same? You know, I really wish that I was better at talking on the spot, off the top of my head. I think I could have contributed more to the conversations (maybe?). Sometimes I said more than I should have. Never have I been great at verbal communication, though I do like to write a lot. I need time to clearly articulate my thoughts.
The experience in Seattle was ineffable. I cannot properly explain the trip, nor can I make the trip "real" in the same way that it once was. "Worthwhile" is the most accurate word that comes to mind - it was a worthwhile trip, I thought. What did you think? To conclude, I would like to impart some words to those who were a part of the Seattle trip. You know, I'm really at a loss of what to say right now. I don't want to write a banal or cliche ending. I guess what I want to say is this: I do believe that God has worked through all of you, and I sincerely hope you all keep looking to him. Hope you all remember that he is the source of all good things, and works through us as people, as vessels. A good friend told me awhile back "Christ lifts us when we can't walk further." I hope that these writings are edifying to you.
Oh, I almost forgot. Some web links from the blog I kept during Capernwray, which have to do with the Seattle trip (if you're interested):
Graham Scott Wall