Monday 6 January 2014

Bleak Windows

What suffering must I endure for tears to escape from these dead eyes? Could it be that I am neither numb nor lively? I am not asking these questions because I chronically suffer. And that is something which I have began to understand about myself; I do not suffer greatly, yet I hold a fascination toward suffering. And maybe that is why I am fascinated, because suffering is considerably unknown to me.

When I reflect upon personal experience, the worst of my sufferings have been physical. In the words of Saint Augustine: "The greatest evil is physical pain." During my most horrendous moments of physical pain, I did not weep. Were there even tears in my eyes? Quite possibly, but I was not weeping. Why was that so?

My desire is to weep for a worthy reason. But what reason will I someday weep for?

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