You can only write so much down. You can say nothing. Sometimes it feels better not to speak. It's more than a feeling - sometimes your soul will receive your action with welcoming arms. The tongue can just be evil, and barbaric. To say something, and regret what you said - that hurts. You might even have intentions that weren't vain, but somehow evil comes out. Writing, talking, praying, silence - I just don't feel any hope. How can a human find spiritual hope when we have this predisposition of seeing with our eyes. (Don't worry, I'm not one to argue that predispositions automatically make something morally right) All I'm saying, is that it's so very difficult to seek the things above. Do you have to go through hell to make it to Heaven? What is my valley of the shadow of death? Some would say that "eternal life starts now." But aren't we waiting for The Kingdom? Aren't flaws intrinsic to us? How can this be eternal when I'm hurting God and others? If it is true that "eternal life starts now," than my sins must have eternal consequences to them, in addition to my victories. We can't just attach positives to the world eternal.