Forgetting the Trenches

It's bothersome when I have to give up on figuring out certain mental equations. I like to think my way around, and try and ponder my way out of the predicaments inside my mind. I take different angles into consideration, capture altering opinions, make arguments, all for the result of nothing, sometimes. I don't know if I hold many beliefs in actuality, because I don't know what God wants me to believe. "For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God." (1 Corinthians 2:11) Is this inferring that I cannot know God's thoughts in the first place? Well, that's sure disappointing. What is my conscience? Is it truly influenced by the Holy Spirit, or is it influenced by people I admire, those who surround me, Western society in general? Patience Graham, patience. My fear is that I'll never find the answers. How can I forget about these inner trenches and pretend that people aren't trapped inside, and that I'm not trapped inside? I suppose it is said that ignorance is bliss. So the cure to problems, often times, is only a placebo of sorts? Once again, I'm disappointed. My initial idea is that if a thought reoccurs, than it must be coming back to me for some purpose. My brain says okay Graham, you need a new perspective on this. What I struggle with is embracing singular perspectives though. I do not like choosing sides, and a part of me says that there is no answer in the first place ... but I'm still scared that I'll never find the answers. Surprisingly, I somehow find what I'm looking for when I'm not looking for it. I know that I'm eager. Patience Graham, patience.