Symbol

I should have doubted you. You had no stigmata to show, for your body was an untouched body. Perhaps that is why I wanted to feel you? And perhaps that is why you also wanted me to feel you? I collapsed in prayer when I heard the music. I had such faith that my prayers made it to you, though they never did. It was the act of folding my hands in a desolate sanctuary.

The way in which Jesus departed from the world is certainly troubling. The body left but the spirit remained. That might sound pleasant, but it is not. And I do not believe that to be the Truth, for it just seems true to me. When Jesus was in the world, his presence went beyond that of a sacrament, for a sacrament is a mere symbol - Jesus was both the symbol and the symbolized. But as of now, we have the symbolized without the symbol. I want the symbol. It is a human tendency to worship the symbol rather than what is being symbolized. The symbol appears to be more real when it is placed against what is being symbolized. And even with my conviction that the symbolized is more important than the symbol, I feel that the symbol is more worthy of my attention.

Alas, I am lost! I am losing. But have I lost? I am unsure of how to direct my attention toward the symbolized. Please, let me go further! These human eyes cannot see any further.